


Secret Love

by saidie456



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Anxiety, Confessions, Crying, F/M, M/M, Secret Crush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-09
Updated: 2013-01-09
Packaged: 2017-11-24 07:07:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/631770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saidie456/pseuds/saidie456
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How is Stiles supposed to deal with a teary Lydia Martin all over him when his mind is on something else... Or should I say someone else?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Secret Love

"I'm sor-" gulping down the nerves whilst watching Lydia look up at him with her glassy eyes. "Lydia, I'm - I've been in love with you since the 3rd grade" he starts, pulling her arms off his own. "Iv'e been soooo madly in love with you, I mean who wouldn't? Your perfect! Your hair is always perfect, your make-up is always perfect. Ok, your lip gloss is even perfect". His voice reaching just an octive higher than it should be. "And I'm not ashamed to say I even know the flavour of it". He wasn't, he really, really wasn't. He'd studied her from afar, alway watching. Just to catch a glimps of her. Just to be the only one to know how increadibly smart she was as well as beautiful, like it was his own little secret. But this just wasn't right. "Lydia, I-" he stepped just a step away from his bedroom wall, where Lydia had him pinned against. "I know you're hurt with Jackson leaving, Ok." She looked up at him, just a little, but enough to know she was listening. "I do. I had to live with the fact that my mom was gone. I know exactly how it feels. But you're smart enough to know this isn't what you want". Lydia did something not even she was probably expecting, she hugged him. Not knowing what to do, he simply rested one of his hands around her back and the other, stroking her hair. Snufferling into his shoulder, she mumbled something that was barley english, but he caught enough words to be sure of what he was answering. "I would've, you don't even realise how many times I wish you would just look at me in the same way I looked at you". He paused, looking down at the girl resting on his shoulder. "I've never wanted anyone so badly". She peered up, off his shoulder, to notice the hitch in his voice. "But- but then Jackson came back, after we got Gerard. He came back and took you in his arms. And it hurt. It hurt cause I knew, from then on, you would always be with Jackson. You'd never want me. So I stayed back, kept my distance, tried not to let the hurt show." Lydia stood back a little, close enough to keep stiles still well in her grasp, but far enough to look deep into his Amber eyes. "Then you and Jackson... you just... ", the words just wern't coming. Because there were no words for what he wanted to describe. So he settled for a simple word, one in which everyone would understand. "... meshed. The way he looked at you after that night, the way he held you, the way he took care of you... It was different. I knew, just by looking, that you would never want me like I wanted you, but it was ok. Because at least then you had someone to really appreciate you and love you like you deserved". She reached to put her hand on his cheek, to which he voluntarily rested into. "That's why I wouldn't- I wouldn't kiss you because I knew you didn't want it, and you'd never forgive me if I did". They looked into each others' eyes for what seemed like hours before Lydia pressed her self against Stiles' skinny body, where he resumed stroking her hair. "You're a good friend Stiles" she murmered into his cheast. "I just wish I saw that before". And like that, there were no more tears.  
As the time moved on, Lydia was sitting on Stiles' bed, while Stiles himself sat on the floor leaning on it. Which is where they sat when Stiles had forcibly convinced Lydia to play Xbox with him, until the game had suddenly stopped. "Stiles-" Lydia started as he turned to face the crossed legged, strawberry blond sitting against the wall on his bed. "It wasn't- I mean... You said loved, past tense... It wasn't just me was it"? She sat farward, dropping the controller on the bed next to her. "What do'ya mean" he squeaked, turning his head away from her, not letting her see him blush with the true acknowledgment of what she was saying. "Stiles, who else was it? You said you wouldn't kiss me because of Jackson, but I don't need super werewolf abilities to know you wern't telling me the entire truth". She got up off the head of the bed and sat down next to Stiles on the floor, looking at him with eyes full of curiosity. "I... they're... it's...", his eyes started to water up with the realisation of who he was talking about. "Lydia, I can't...". Not knowing how he was going to finish that sentence, he just dropped it. "Stiles... Who is he"? At that moment he startled at the realisation that Lydia figured out it was a he. The thought that she was never going to look at him in the same way again physically hurt him. All they had been doing was playing Xbox, but he had never felt closer to someone than he did in the last hour and he never wanted it to end. But it did when he felt a hand glide over the side of his cheek. "Look at me Stiles", pulling her hand away. The loss of contact almost made his stomache turn. Though he did as he was told. He looked at her, staring into her, letting her see the scared little boy he felt like inside at the moment. She pulled him closer, letting him rest his head on her shoulder as she reached around to hold his other arm. "I can't do this", he whimpered, feeling the anxiety creep up on him again. "I just... He's... Every time I look at him I feel a part of myself die, knowing I can't have him". The tears started to stream down his face as he latched his arms around lydias' waist, looking for the comfort it brang. "He's always there, he's trying to help people... But he can't, he just... He needs help. He's always so sad... Or angry... Or-". "Stiles". An abrupt calling of his name above him was all it took for Stiles to stop and look up. "Please Stiles, tell me you're not talking about who I think you are". He could almost see the pain in her eyes. "I can't help it Lydia. I mean he's a.... he, and I...". He felt Lydias' grasp harden around him. "Stiles, if the only reason you're scared is because he's a guy, don't be. Look at Dan-". "It's not- It's not that. I don't care about that. But he's... he's him. He's always so mad, always angry, always sad. He'll never look at me like this. I'm a stupid 16 year old boy. I'm too skinny, I'm covered in moles, I can't shut up I'm-", He gripped onto Lydia even harder, not knowing properly why, but it seemed to help. "He's never going to want me, He can't even stand the sight of me". He sniffed, looking down again, trying to hide his shame. "Well then he's an idiot. You can't fault yourself when there is nothing to fault, Stiles. You're perfect just the way you are". "If it was anyone else Lydia, I swear I could mov-". She pushed him off her. Forcing him to sit up on his own. "You listen to me Stilinski. You are not going to mope around like a teenage girl, you're going to get off your ass and talk to him". She raised one eyebrow, stairing straight at him and pushing her hair behind her shoulder. "But he's-". "He'll have to deal with me if he breaks your heart. I can take on Derek Hale. I don't get my nails manicured for no reason." Her lips squinted at the sides as she smiled slightly at him. "Thanks Lydia" Stiles returned the smile, leaning in again for a hug. Nothing else was needed to be said after that point, everything was clear.


End file.
